ALERT: Is Your Child A Far-Right Extremist? Please Check For These Potential Warning Signs:

Read the list carefully. If your child falls under one or more of these categories they could be a “far-right extremist.” Please get them to the nearest re-education (aka public school) facility immediately. Subject them to at least 12 hours of CNN every day for the next 90 days and put a Barack Obama “Yes We Can” poster above their bed and have them chant “Obama…Obama…Obama…” at least 100 times before sleeping.